Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Monday, October 22, 2007
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Colbert is nothing more than a "Johnny-come-lately" candidate. And, get this, he only wants to run in South Carolina! No offense to South Carolina (because we love playing golf at Myrtle Beach, same as the next guy), but running in one state isn't going to cut the mustard.
No sir! The American people need a candidate that can run in every state! Ladies and gentlemen: that man is Marty Bass!
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Marty describes his toupee's retirement
We can now reveal that the toupee is living peacefully in Boca Raton, Florida, where all other Northwest Baltimore hair pieces go to retire.
The Florida vote is important to any Presidential campaign - and we would like to take this opportunity to announce that Marty's toupee (Mr. Whiggy) will be working as our campaign director for the sunshine state.
A group of voters we hope to bribe with federal appointments
Thanks, Mark! There'll be a nice well paid consultancy at the FCC for you when Marty is elected.
Friday, October 19, 2007
Thursday, October 18, 2007
We have suffered for decades from professional politicans who are out of touch with the country. We are the majority... the ordinary folk... the middle class... regular Americans. We work hard for our families, we support our local teams, we enjoy a joke and a beer and a barbecue, we pack our lunches, we sit in commutes, we serve on PTAs and coach little league teams, we pay our bills, we know the price of a gallon of gas and a quart of milk, we are the ordinary folk, regular Americans, and we deserve one of our own to be in the White House.
Marty Bass - Best of Baltimore for 2007, Best for the USA in 2008!
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
You know it makes sense, hon.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Marty Bass, WJZ-TV anchor
Baltimore Sun (6/24/07)
When the sky gets cloudy and gray, WJZ-TV weather expert Marty Bass doesn't sing the blues. Instead, he plays them on his bass guitar.
Marty is an everyman. He wants a warm fire in winter, music to soothe his soul, food to nourish his body, and somewhere pleasant for his family vacation. Who can say they want more? Who can say we don't all deserve the American Dream?
Monday, October 15, 2007
Marty Bass... weatherman... statesman... short bald guy. Truly a man of the people, from his love of NASCAR to pulled pork BBQ, Marty Bass is an everyday hero - from the tip of his shiny cowboy boots to the dome of his shiny head. Put your trust in Marty! He is the candidate of the people, by the people, for the people!